Never say “it can’t get any worse than this”…

After my knee replacements I had continuous infections and had to have 25 surgeries with 3 life threatening sepsis attacks.

It thought it couldn’t get worse.

It did.

My leg had to be amputated.

Surely it couldn’t get worse?

It did.

I got cancer.

That had to be the bottom, it couldn’t get worse than that.

The bottom fell out.

My wife of 43 years died suddenly.

Every time I thought it can’t get any worse than this….. it did.

Each time it left me empty, hollow, when everything had been taken away I had nothing left.

No thing.

Out of no thing I realised that everything we try to hold on to in life turns to dust.

‘Things’ are an illusion, not real.

In the end ‘no thing’ is a healing, a refuge.

When you sleep on the floor you won’t fall out of bed.

A humble physical existence leads to a rich spiritual existence.

Engage in life, love the beauty of impermanence, understand entropy.

You can hold life in the palm of your hand but keep it open and don’t try to hold on to it.

Live, engage, love, let go, embrace change including in yourself.

This is not academic – I’ve lived it.