Staring Into The Abyss

I hate bright light.I especially hate it when it flickers,Like when it flickers through trees when you drive.Life passing by is like that flickering light. I prefer the dark.The blacker the better.It wraps around you like a warm blanket.Sleep and death is like wrapping yourself in the dark to heal. Staring into the abyss is a compulsion.You can feel it looking back,Drawing you in.Inviting you to lose your individuality. Like standing on a ledge,You have a compulsion to fall.The illusion of life and time,Is like thinking the driver is the car,That the electricity is the computer. It’s not.You look into … Continue reading Staring Into The Abyss

Stages Of Tai Chi

In the beginning we have to learn about our mind, emotions and body and harmonise them.Then we have to make them all more intelligent and skilful.Then we have to stop thinking so much and watch them, allowing insight and wisdom to arise.Then we have to be able to recognise energy in all its stages, nurture and alchemise it.90% of this work is done in the unworded mind.When all of this work is harmonised we can enjoy Tai Chi at the highest level. Continue reading Stages Of Tai Chi

Finding The Depth

I’ve never understood people with a romantic or joyous view of life. When I was young I hated life, didn’t get on at school or with my family. It was only when I discovered martial arts and Asian philosophy that I found peace and balance. Life is suffering and learning how to see it in the right perspective and deal with it emotionally are good tools to have in your emotional toolbox. It’s always struck me that the people that have the mask of a romantic and joyous view of life also tend to be the most needy and emotionally … Continue reading Finding The Depth

Discovering Your Original Face

Daily martial arts practice can be like saying your prayers. A daily ritual that takes you deeper and deeper, beyond the individual, absorbing you into the wordless, unformed, immortal part of your ‘being’. The longer you practice, the faster and more permanent this process becomes. Those that never understand the ritual of practice will never get there. Most people train martial arts to consolidate the social indoctrination they’ve already had, to ‘lose weight’, ‘defend themselves’ and to engage in a social activity treating the ‘Dojo’ like a western gym. But for those that have a little dust in their eyes … Continue reading Discovering Your Original Face

What’s Your Personality?

What is your personality? The word personality comes from the word ‘persona’ which in turn comes from the mask that actors wore on stage before the use of microphones to project their voices, thus ‘person sonar’. We use different personalities or ‘masks’ according to the situation, so most people have a mask for the public, one for their friends, one for their family and then there is their true self. Knowing who you are and what the masks are is an important skill in inhabiting a body or ‘being human’. The problem comes when we get so used to wearing … Continue reading What’s Your Personality?

Learning To Look Inward

We never really know ourselves because we can’t look back down our own eyes. In hindsight I realise that I’ve never wanted to be alive so have never had the need to joyfully engage. I never got on with my family and couldn’t wait to leave home, hated school so didn’t bother to go or learn, failed all exams miserably. Social life was pubs and nightclubs because I couldn’t think of anything else so just ran with the gangs. Didn’t read a book until I started meditating in my 20’s and then couldn’t stop, because there was no internet and … Continue reading Learning To Look Inward

I Have No Pedestal

I’m not spiritual.I’m not evolved or advanced.I’m not a guru.You can judge me more by what I’m not, rather than what I am.I’ve spent most of my life getting rid of things rather than acquiring them.I never really wanted to ‘become’ anything.And I still haven’t got rid of enough.My ‘rough’ South London/ council estate upbringing and culture is still in my body, my avatar, but at least I can see it for what it is.I still have many faults but hopefully I can catch them as they arise.I am still a work in progress, still shedding.All the time we have … Continue reading I Have No Pedestal

The Right Perspective

When you have the ability to separate yourself from human dogma and view life from heaven’s perspective you see that every person has their own challenges and they measure up very differently to the human cultural approach. If you look at it from a martial arts perspective, who achieves most, the natural athlete who easily gets to black belt or the disabled student who struggles their way to green belt? You can look at life in the same way, it’s not about looking at others and what they have, can do or have achieved, reality is focusing on where you … Continue reading The Right Perspective

Sink Into The Darkness

When I meditate I sink into the darkness that is always there.Like a warm blanket enveloping me;A place of refuge;Healing, nourishing and forgiving. Looking back down my own eyes I find the unconditioned;Unborn, immortal, unformed;It’s always there, a refuge. My body, emotions and thoughts are formed from it;Like a wave rising from the sea and returning to it;And whilst a wave it is still the sea. You have to bring light from darkness and when it is extinguished, you realise the darkness was always there. Never be afraid of the dark. Continue reading Sink Into The Darkness

Why Am I Suffering?

Why are we suffering? What did we do to deserve this? If you think like this you are trying to apply human justice to a much broader perspective and it clearly doesn’t work. Suffering exists in all forms and our body will experience it affecting our emotions and thoughts, but we are not our body, we are not our emotions and we are not our thoughts, we are more than them. We don’t need to ‘believe’ this, we need to directly experience it. This is the point of our Shi Kon neigong or ‘inner work’ deep breathing calms the body, … Continue reading Why Am I Suffering?