Staring Into The Abyss

I hate bright light.I especially hate it when it flickers,Like when it flickers through trees when you drive.Life passing by is like that flickering light. I prefer the dark.The blacker the better.It wraps around you like a warm blanket.Sleep and death is like wrapping yourself in the dark to heal. Staring into the abyss is a compulsion.You can feel it looking back,Drawing you in.Inviting you to lose your individuality. Like standing on a ledge,You have a compulsion to fall.The illusion of life and time,Is like thinking the driver is the car,That the electricity is the computer. It’s not.You look into … Continue reading Staring Into The Abyss

Stages Of Tai Chi

In the beginning we have to learn about our mind, emotions and body and harmonise them.Then we have to make them all more intelligent and skilful.Then we have to stop thinking so much and watch them, allowing insight and wisdom to arise.Then we have to be able to recognise energy in all its stages, nurture and alchemise it.90% of this work is done in the unworded mind.When all of this work is harmonised we can enjoy Tai Chi at the highest level. Continue reading Stages Of Tai Chi

Getting Depressed

Sometimes you have to ask yourself “when was I last happy?” It’s easy to slide into depression without realising it.So many things can affect you without you realising it.A negative environment,Miserable people around you,A traumatic event,Fatigue, illness,Situations that you find hard to accept. It can be like the hands of a clock.Moving so slow you don’t see it.Day by day,Hour by hour,Your habits change. And suddenly you are depressed,Nothing lights you up,You don’t want to wake up,Get up, take care of yourself,You don’t want to go anywhere,You don’t want to see anyone. And you think “how did I get here?” … Continue reading Getting Depressed

I’m Fine ….

I’m fine.We all say it.When others ask how we are.When their burden is bigger than ours.When we know they will only worry.When we know they’ll nag if we tell them.When we know they’re only being polite in asking.When we can’t be arsed to explain.When we need privacy.When we know they won’t understand.When we’re too embarrassed to explain.We all say it.……I’m fine. Continue reading I’m Fine ….

Finding The Depth

I’ve never understood people with a romantic or joyous view of life. When I was young I hated life, didn’t get on at school or with my family. It was only when I discovered martial arts and Asian philosophy that I found peace and balance. Life is suffering and learning how to see it in the right perspective and deal with it emotionally are good tools to have in your emotional toolbox. It’s always struck me that the people that have the mask of a romantic and joyous view of life also tend to be the most needy and emotionally … Continue reading Finding The Depth

Be Still To See…

When we’re born, we still have our original face;We haven’t been given an identity;We don’t know that we’re separate from everything else. Our indoctrinators give us a name;And then set up our false identity;Over time we think that’s who we are;We develop humanity’s version of Stockholm Syndrome. Deep inside we know it’s a mask;Our original face weeps to be known;Without the tools it constantly eludes us;This causes untold suffering;It constantly disappears as we try to see;The harder we try, the worse it gets. Until we sit still….In stillness the clouds part;And finally we get to realise;Our original face is where … Continue reading Be Still To See…

International Men’s Day and Mental Health

Today is ‘International Men’s Day’ and an opportunity to look at and understand men’s mental health from a man’s point of view. It’s all very well telling them what they’re supposed to do by people that don’t understand why they are the way they are, but the natural and powerful urges and the social indoctrination from a young age is very powerful. Most fighters understand that it’s not death or pain that they fear but humiliation. Therefore they would rather die than display or discuss their weaknesses. So the advice to talk about their vulnerabilities with others may catch a … Continue reading International Men’s Day and Mental Health

Men’s Mental Health

Mental Health For Men There are a lot of memes and ‘copy and paste’ posts basically saying that men suffering from mental health need to talk about their problems and be able to communicate and seek help. I don’t think these help because they’re asking men to do something that feels too unnatural. Men are built physically, mentally and emotionally in a different way to women. Men are traditionally the protectors, hunters, and warriors and they would demonstrate their prowess in these areas to impress females like much of the animal world, it’s written into their DNA to not ‘break … Continue reading Men’s Mental Health

What The Prophets Knew

If someone’s never eaten a banana, how could you describe the taste to them? If you meditate regularly and discover the immortal within yourself and the person you’re talking to doesn’t, how could you describe it to them? The first lines in the Tao Te Ching say “The way that can be spoken of is not the eternal way”. This is why Jesus told parables;The Buddha told sutras;Zen uses koans. In Karate the title ‘sensei’ means one who’s gone before and therefore points the way. A ‘Guru’ is one who sheds light into darkness. All we can do is provide … Continue reading What The Prophets Knew

Discovering Your Original Face

Daily martial arts practice can be like saying your prayers. A daily ritual that takes you deeper and deeper, beyond the individual, absorbing you into the wordless, unformed, immortal part of your ‘being’. The longer you practice, the faster and more permanent this process becomes. Those that never understand the ritual of practice will never get there. Most people train martial arts to consolidate the social indoctrination they’ve already had, to ‘lose weight’, ‘defend themselves’ and to engage in a social activity treating the ‘Dojo’ like a western gym. But for those that have a little dust in their eyes … Continue reading Discovering Your Original Face