Waiting For God

Waiting For God I feel you looking out of my eyes,Listening through my ears,Tasting with my tongue,Smelling through my nose. But this vehicle won’t pass another MOT,The joints are rusty,Tissue is infected,It can barely run,It’s about ready for the knackers fire. It was elegant,A pleasure to drive,Would accelerate rapidly,Stop and turn on a sixpence,A reminder of classic times. Your consciousness permeates every cell,Always aware and alive,Observing yourself,When the body transmutes,The shape changes But consciousness is immortal. Continue reading Waiting For God

The Expectation Of Happiness

The expectation is often that people with depression aspire to be happy.Not always true.People with depression often see happy people as more depressed than them.Why?Because they see them as running away from reality.They can often see the darkness behind the smile because they know it’s name.People with depression need to balance and manage their emotions.Not mask them.They don’t always want to talk about their feelings, often those that want to help are the wrong ones to turn to.Because they haven’t been to those dark places, where ‘no life’ is a better option than ‘life’.They have to get to a place … Continue reading The Expectation Of Happiness

Greedy Eyes

When you’re young you’re taught to have ‘greedy eyes’, to want more than you need.As you age, if you develop right view, you start to realise only what you need.Slowly you get rid of and let go of everything you don’t need.From material things, to people, to emotions.You stop looking back, you stop looking forward.You stop being greedy.You keep letting go, you stop wanting until time stands still.Instead of trying to grab and conquer life, you let it come to you.Until it doesn’t, and you loosen the last part. Continue reading Greedy Eyes

Digging Deep…

Sometimes you have to dig deep, like REALLY deep.Trying to stop the body going into shock with pain.Reducing one day at a time to one breath at a time.Controlling the adrenaline from fear.When you want to run or curl up, facing it as a warrior.When you feel so angry you want to burn your world down.Controlling reckless rage and the desire to kill or maim.When I see advice from those that have never been there, I almost wish it on them.Because until you’ve REALLY been there, you can never know.Trash your ‘feel good’ memes, your fake rose tinted spectacles, and … Continue reading Digging Deep…

Is The Purpose Of Life To Be Happy?

Is the purpose if life to be happy? It seems to me that the ‘successful’ people thrusting their ‘happiness’ in our face on every social media media platform every day are actually the opposite, behind their masks (and I know plenty of them) they are deeply troubled and flawed people. They are using that facade to sell ‘happiness on a stick’ to other deeply troubled and flawed people. They think that attention, fame and wealth will create the contentment they seek and their customers are forever chasing the tail of happiness that is just disappearing around the corner in front … Continue reading Is The Purpose Of Life To Be Happy?

I’m A Man’s Man

I’m a man’s man. We don’t show pain.Not physical, emotional or mental.We don’t accept help of any kind.We’d rather die than ask. We aren’t afraid of getting hurt in a fight.We are afraid of being beaten.We don’t read instructions or maps.We’d rather die than not be the breadwinner. All emotion is sucked inward.It comes out as silence or rage.You can’t make us talk about them.You can’t make us express them. We just don’t have the capacity.We’re a dying breed.Often through passive suicide.Because we also don’t go to the doctor.Better to die early before we need assistance.Or get frail, or useless. … Continue reading I’m A Man’s Man

Dealing With Toxic People

Do you feel guilty when others around you are soaked in misery? Don’t. Because if they are genuinely suffering, empathy requires a soft front and a strong back to help, you suffering along with them out of guilt doesn’t help. There are also manipulative people who use and exaggerate their own suffering, sometimes even unwittingly, because they can see it makes you feel guilty and they either want to control you or just enjoy making you miserable as well. If you are an empathic person this is really difficult, these people might be at work, family or friends, it’s all … Continue reading Dealing With Toxic People