Some people are like vampire spiders sitting in the middle of their web of misery waiting to capture any unwilling victims. They will manipulate situations and conversations that will trap you into their miserable unhappy life and you’re caught before you realise it.

The first defence is to realise that they are out there, darkening a room when they enter and sucking the life out of it, the second is to develop your ‘spidey senses’ so that you don’t unwittingly walk into their web.

They hate happy, well balanced people and environments and will do their utmost to to destroy any joy, just because they can. Look out for ‘loaded questions’ that seem innocent enough but are designed to turn the conversation into an argument with them as the victim. Be careful in offering help that will draw you ever deeper into their web of misery and narcissism that will make them the victim and you the oppressor.

Learn the skills of distancing yourself from these people as soon as you can before you become trapped.

They can destroy the camaraderie in a club turning people against each other, so it’s important to learn to recognise the signs before it’s too late. Remember, one bad apple can rot a whole barrel.