Do I Want My Youth Back?

Insight while training this morning…

Thank goodness the morning nausea has gone (except fort the day of the Tensho seminar 🤷‍♂️), but I still wake up with chronic fatigue, meaning that even my morning wash and dressing has to be done in stages with rests between each stage, followed by a rest with coffee and toast before I can train.

Tai Chi opens my spine, deep front line and through the connection, all the joints and myofascia. Despite the underlying fatigue and pain from the surgeries, amputation, cancer treatment and chronic arthritis in all of my body, the training makes me ‘feel good’, raises both my powerful warrior energy and that deep sense of inner stillness and focus, even better and more powerful than my youth when I was ‘trying’ too hard. My students will recognise this in me.

It means that I can control all the negativity that being in the ‘winter of life’ brings and that my spirit is able to permeate and fill my body with positivity and spiritual power as opposed to the raw physical power and ignorance of youth.

Do I want my youth back? Despite all my problems, no. I love my ‘matured’ spirit that extends way beyond my fragile, disabled body and am happy to support my family and community and pass on what I’ve learned until the universe releases me from it.

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