When you finally find what’s absolutely right for you in your martial arts training and meditation and you internalise it you don’t need to rationalise why you do it.
I practice every day religiously, like saying my prayers and have practiced in my hospital bed laying, sitting, in a wheelchair (my current location for training) in my garden, in parks in my Dojo and every other location you can think of.
I train for me. Not to fight anymore, not for how it looks and not for what others might think of me or what I do. It’s deeply personal, there is no ‘reason’ or logic because I know intuitively that I have got it exactly right and it’s saved my life on more than one occasion and the battleground has changed as life has progressed.
Find your own art, don’t be afraid to do your own personal study and after rigorous practice discard what doesn’t fit and that which you can’t internalise.
You need to find that which progresses your understanding of what life is and what you are doing here. That is the only question and the answer only comes with insight, your practice is to enable you to gain that insight – then everything else falls into place.