Tag: happiness

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Knowing Yourself

Steve Rowe

I’ve never been comfortable with titles, grades, certificates and awards. Nothing against them, they’re just not for me. I haven’t turned grades down from people I respect but have upset and subsequently fallen out with people that run awards ceremonies because I wouldn’t associate with them or accept their awards. I know who and what I am so don’t need recognition from others, I know what I’m both good and bad at and that sometimes I’m a twat with an awful sense of humour. I don’t like to put anything between myself and those I teach so I’m not a … Continue reading Knowing Yourself

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A Library Waiting To Burn Down

Steve Rowe

Old Man…..Why are you still here?You’ve lived in a different worldNo internet or computersNo influencersOnly 1 or 2 TV channelsOnly 2 gendersA life of hardshipWearing the mask of ‘manhood’Don’t show weaknessDon’t show emotionDon’t show painDon’t show fearDon’t let anything get to youWalk the left hand pathBe politeSupport and defend friends and familyBe quietly loyalPay your billsLive frugallyBe a warriorExpect nothingBe happy with anythingNow you are ‘old’And ‘don’t understand’You ‘forget’And are ‘awkward’Hoping to die before you’re too weakThe world left you behindWith wisdom that can’t be graspedAnd you’re still hereA library waiting to burn down Continue reading A Library Waiting To Burn Down

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There’s A Hole In My Bucket

Steve Rowe

I’ve always found the idea of having a ‘bucket list’ a bit selfish and strange. Is this the purpose and quality we put on having a life? Shouldn’t we find our meaning and purpose within every moment? It’s the same as having to take a holiday, is our life so mundane and bad that we have to get away? Spend all our time wishing we were somewhere else and being pampered like a child? If our life is so unsatisfying maybe we should look inward and make changes that then reflect outward into each moment so that we don’t need … Continue reading There’s A Hole In My Bucket

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3am Black Dog

Steve Rowe

It’s always at 3amYou wake with a feeling of dreadIt can come from medicationOr lack of itMaybe PTSDOr something happening in lifeOr just plain anxiety and fearEither way it’s always 3am You’ve been asleepAnd the unconscious has been free to roamYou wake with this powerful sense of dreadYour mind attaches reason to itBut that’s not always what it isEvery nerve in the body hurtsNot with painBut with emotionA kind of yearning You distract the mind to ease itAnd think it’s goneBut as soon as you stop the distractionIt returnsEventually you sleepBut when you wake upThe black dog is still sitting … Continue reading 3am Black Dog

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Language Of The Depressed

Steve Rowe

The language of the depressed. You have to listen carefullyDon’t give an opinion unless askedSometimes they just want to be heardJust want their problems recognisedEmpathy is often interpreted as pitySupport is to be there and pay attentionTo help if asked forOr to ask if there’s anything you can do to helpUnrequested advice or help is seen as bullyingThe language is often codedThe problem is depersonalisedSpoke about in the the 3rd personOr approached obliquelyBecause they are embarrassedBy listening and paying attentionWatching the body languageFeeling the energyAllowing them to talkUntil they feel comfortableYou can be the greatest helpBe a good friendAnd help … Continue reading Language Of The Depressed

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Dying Inside

Steve Rowe

Dying insideIs a coping mechanismWhen we are made powerlessHaving the ultimate acceptanceNot wanting or needingTo end the life of the bodyWe end the life of the selfReleasing the need to controlWe yield to life and othersBeing dead none of it mattersWe’re taking our toys homeWe’re not playing anymoreWhen we can’t escape our environmentBe it poverty, politics or disablementIt’s all a kind of prisonWhen there is nothing left for the selfIt diesIs this the same as the meditating monk?The Buddha said ‘there is no self’Is it ridding us of the illusion of life?Is it losing the damaging desires?Is it good or … Continue reading Dying Inside

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The Darkness

Steve Rowe

Carrying on with life normallyAnd suddenly, without warningAn overwhelming darkness descendsEverything is wrongYou don’t want to be hereDeath is preferable to lifePeople wonder why others suddenly end their lifeIt’s because the mask slipsThe darkness is always thereDeep down, we know life is wrongWe all have Stockholm syndromeWe’re abducted into a bodyEnergy becomes desireThe thirst of wantingOr not wantingControls everythingWe spend all our timeDriven by that which cannot make us happyWealth and beauty are emptyLook at the wealthy and beautifulSee the snarl on the lipsThe emptiness in the eyesThe bullying satisfactionOr lording their wealth and empty beauty over youThey are the … Continue reading The Darkness

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A Jewel Between My Eyes

Steve Rowe

It’s like my conscious sat back and watchedI didn’t even know it was thereDespite the the fact it’s my immortal selfMy desires made me hurt othersPhysically, mentally and emotionallyWhen I finally learned to be stillI identified what had always been thereLike a precious jewel between my eyesI found a place of refugeWhere we could observe my idiocyWhen I could objectively see myselfIt changed meWhen I realised that everything was oneIt changed meI stopped hurting others and myselfI discovered empathyStopped supporting hurting and killing by proxyStopped supporting warStopped eating animalsStopped indoctrinated tribalism and nationalismRealised that it’s not just what you doBut … Continue reading A Jewel Between My Eyes

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Amputate Or Die?

Steve Rowe

By the time most people get to the point of amputation, it’s amputate or die, up to that point if you were asked would you prefer amputation or death you probably would’ve picked death. But when reality kicks in…. When you come too after surgery a missing limb is a shock, and it’s not just that once, when you dream you have two legs or arms, so every day you wake up you get the same shock again and again. This is normal. The physical pain is bad enough, the phantom limb pains can be incredibly sharp (like cramp) and … Continue reading Amputate Or Die?