I hate bright light.I especially hate it when it flickers,Like when it flickers through trees when you drive.Life passing by is like that flickering light. I prefer the dark.The blacker the better.It wraps around you like a warm blanket.Sleep and death is like wrapping yourself in the dark to heal. Staring into the abyss is a compulsion.You can feel it looking back,Drawing you in.Inviting you to lose your individuality. Like standing on a ledge,You have a compulsion to fall.The illusion of life and time,Is like thinking the driver is the car,That the electricity is the computer. It’s not.You look into … Continue reading Staring Into The Abyss
Sometimes you have to ask yourself “when was I last happy?” It’s easy to slide into depression without realising it.So many things can affect you without you realising it.A negative environment,Miserable people around you,A traumatic event,Fatigue, illness,Situations that you find hard to accept. It can be like the hands of a clock.Moving so slow you don’t see it.Day by day,Hour by hour,Your habits change. And suddenly you are depressed,Nothing lights you up,You don’t want to wake up,Get up, take care of yourself,You don’t want to go anywhere,You don’t want to see anyone. And you think “how did I get here?” … Continue reading Getting Depressed
I’m fine.We all say it.When others ask how we are.When their burden is bigger than ours.When we know they will only worry.When we know they’ll nag if we tell them.When we know they’re only being polite in asking.When we can’t be arsed to explain.When we need privacy.When we know they won’t understand.When we’re too embarrassed to explain.We all say it.……I’m fine. Continue reading I’m Fine ….
When we’re born, we still have our original face;We haven’t been given an identity;We don’t know that we’re separate from everything else. Our indoctrinators give us a name;And then set up our false identity;Over time we think that’s who we are;We develop humanity’s version of Stockholm Syndrome. Deep inside we know it’s a mask;Our original face weeps to be known;Without the tools it constantly eludes us;This causes untold suffering;It constantly disappears as we try to see;The harder we try, the worse it gets. Until we sit still….In stillness the clouds part;And finally we get to realise;Our original face is where … Continue reading Be Still To See…
I’m not spiritual.I’m not evolved or advanced.I’m not a guru.You can judge me more by what I’m not, rather than what I am.I’ve spent most of my life getting rid of things rather than acquiring them.I never really wanted to ‘become’ anything.And I still haven’t got rid of enough.My ‘rough’ South London/ council estate upbringing and culture is still in my body, my avatar, but at least I can see it for what it is.I still have many faults but hopefully I can catch them as they arise.I am still a work in progress, still shedding.All the time we have … Continue reading I Have No Pedestal
When I meditate I sink into the darkness that is always there.Like a warm blanket enveloping me;A place of refuge;Healing, nourishing and forgiving. Looking back down my own eyes I find the unconditioned;Unborn, immortal, unformed;It’s always there, a refuge. My body, emotions and thoughts are formed from it;Like a wave rising from the sea and returning to it;And whilst a wave it is still the sea. You have to bring light from darkness and when it is extinguished, you realise the darkness was always there. Never be afraid of the dark. Continue reading Sink Into The Darkness
I’m not my name;My parents gave that to me. I’m not my body;It beats its own heart,Breathes itself,Grows it’s own hair and nails. I’m not my thoughts or emotions,They are the software of the body,Arising from it’s need to survive and move. Who am I?I am my consciousness,If I can be thought, that’s not it,If I can be described, that’s not it. It has to be wordless,Unconditioned,Unborn,Unformed,Immortal. And awake. Continue reading I Am Not My Name
Let your body be still Let your mind be still Let your emotions be still Sit straight Breathe deep Let your body calm down Let your mind calm down Let your emotions calm down Just wait Follow your breath Let your mind intensify Let it focus Let it be sensitive…. Ah…. There it is….. Continue reading There It is…
The earth is calling my bones. The air is calling my breath. The river is calling my fluid; The fire is ready to consume my spirit. It’s time to rest in my real home, To sit behind all the eyes in the world; To once again be the stillness and silence; That under stands the universe. By dissolving my structure each day; By returning to my true home; I can rest and heal whilst still having this vehicle and software. So that when it’s time to give it up; I’ll just be going home. By Steve Rowe Continue reading My True Home
I’m so, so sorry…… When I was young I didn’t know any better, I abused you horribly and am now paying the price. ‘No pain’ no gain’ was my mantra. I ran and ran and ran, thousands of push ups, sit ups and hour after hour in the gym abusing you because I was convinced that we were at war each other. I fought and fought and fought destroying other people’s bodies in the Dojo and in the street as well as irreparably damaging you. I fed you nutritional shite and drinks that others convinced me were ‘healthy’ and also … Continue reading I’m So, So Sorry…..