Tag: mental health

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Psychic Vampires

Steve Rowe

Watch out for toxic people. Often they try to ingratiate themselves into your life very quickly, being over friendly and start by doing you favours you never asked for. They will begin by ‘bigging you up’ with exaggerated titles like ‘master’ ‘shihan’ and so on to get reflected glory. When they don’t get what they want (grades, certificates, acknowledgement and recognition for example) they start blaming you for everything that’s wrong in their life usually exaggerating or downright lying. You need to recognise these signs as soon as possible and cut them out whatever the cost. Others are the negatives, … Continue reading Psychic Vampires

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Mental Health Help

Steve Rowe

Mental health. The problem is that if you haven’t experienced it yourself, you can never really understand. You can be there for someone who’s suffering, but never say I understand or try to put yourself in their place, because you can’t. Anything you can imagine, isn’t what it is. Only give advice if asked, but always caveat it with the fact that you haven’t experienced it yourself but will do whatever you can to help. Mental health is an incredibly lonely place to be and the hardest dark hole to try to climb out of. Every time you think it’s … Continue reading Mental Health Help

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The Unseen Problem

Steve Rowe

Men’s Mental HealthThe Unseen ProblemThe cause of the deep depressionA burning anger in the chestIt leads to sickness and not wanting to be hereExit is them giving up on lifeStopping life saving medicationNot reporting a potential life taking illnessThese don’t show up in statisticsSo no one recognises the problemMany older men suffer with thisThey were the ‘rock’That everyone depended onBut that time has passedIf they speak out they will only make matters worseExacerbate other people’s problemsNo one wants to hear themTo speak is to make others defensiveTo destroy the societal equilibriumThey feel like a silent wraith in a crowdNo one … Continue reading The Unseen Problem

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You Can’t Help…

Steve Rowe

You Can’t Help….. How many times have you looked at someone suffering and thought “I can really help you”…. “I could teach you some posture/breathing/mindfulness techniques and some basic neigong/qigong exercises that would really help to take away your mental and emotional anguish and physical pain”. But they don’t want your help. They’re locked into their suffering and think that you’re an annoying twat if you keep offering help, even worse if you get annoyed because they don’t want it. My advice is only offer help gently once and after that don’t mention it again because you’re not helping but … Continue reading You Can’t Help…

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What’s Missing With Mental Health?

Steve Rowe

Are you wanted?How do you know?Talk is cheapOnly actions tell truthDo your opinions count?Do they have any meaning to others?Do you help?Is it paid any regard?Do you support?Is it appreciated?When you speakDoes anyone pay attention?Are others just ‘putting up’ with you?Do you feel ‘trapped’ in any way?Can you change it?If you can’t, can you accept it?It’s important to be in the right placeWith the right peopleOr life loses its meaning and purposeYou feel isolatedImprisonedDepressedAnd when people talk about ‘mental health’They often fail to understandHow many people give upStop taking medicationDon’t seek medical help for conditionsAre happy to just ‘let go’It’s … Continue reading What’s Missing With Mental Health?

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Training With Pain & Fatigue

Steve Rowe

Training this morning with chronic fatigue, chronic arthritis, only one leg and sprained my neck and chest yesterday using a transfer board at an awkward angle to get from wheelchair to car. Was obviously seated, moving with care to not make anything worse and was using my breathing to open and then close all cavities, tissue and joints in the body filling them with energy to assist healing and reduce pain. Turning disadvantage into advantage was using my hip bones against the chair as my ‘feet’ and pain makes me extremely focused, mindful and concentrated, and the sensitivity makes me … Continue reading Training With Pain & Fatigue

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Leave People Alone

Steve Rowe

Leave People Alone Sort yourself out firstBalance yourselfDevelop your internal locus of powerIf other people want helpThey’ll askThen you decide what help you can giveSo that they can also develop their powerDon’t enable their negativity You might think that you can helpFamily, friends and those closestAre the most likely to not want itBecause they know you in a different wayUnrequested help is negativeAnd will be seen as pressureThey will see it as abuseYou can offer politely onceThen leave them alone It’s hard to watch those you love sufferBut it’s their lifeTheir pathThe best help is detachmentAnd just be there if … Continue reading Leave People Alone

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Absent Students

Steve Rowe

Any long term martial arts teacher knows this. When someone says “I won’t be there because….. “ whatever follows doesn’t matter. They’re not going to be there. I remember saying “it’s okay, I’m always happy to see and teach you, but when you’re not here, I never think about you.” The student looked hurt. The thing is, if we get upset when people don’t attend sessions, we’d be upset all the time. To be happy when they’re here, but not think about them when they’re not, keeps a good relationship and keeps the teacher sane. In the 70’s martial arts … Continue reading Absent Students

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Everyone Has A Story

Steve Rowe

As the government turns on people with disabilities, removing independence payments and most importantly social help of all kinds, no one can understand the full import of what becoming disabled means. We all have a different story and I’m lucky that I’m still able to work and support myself, with a lot of family, friends and students around me to help. Others are not so lucky. Having been an independent, fit, strong career martial artist for most of my life, becoming disabled and losing my leg meant that I lost 95% of my life. If asked if I would rather … Continue reading Everyone Has A Story

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Entropy Of Life

Steve Rowe

EntropyFrom organised structure into chaos.You’re already dead.Death is infinite and assured.Life sits inside death.It’s finite and tentative.From the moment you’re born,You’re also dead.Life/death is yin/yangWithout death, life has no value. From young, healthy, attractive, nicely scented and succulent,You rot into a grey, dry, wrinkled,Old, invisible and ignored carcass,Smelling of piss and biscuits.From mindlessly leaping out of chairs,You go to the ‘Dawn Of Man’ routine to stand.Or slide from chair to wheelchair. Only young people say “if you’re lucky enough to get old”.When old, sick people hear of a ‘sudden death’, they think ‘lucky bastard’,Even if they don’t say it.The key … Continue reading Entropy Of Life